Daniel Luster: Comic Genius

 Greetings, mortals! I'm Daniel Luster: Judge, jury, executioner, deadpan snarker, comic relief, the #1 autistic twerker in the world, and the pitchman for small items (including coffee mugs, thermoses, lunchboxes, menswear, ladieswear, bumper stickers, posters, compact discs, DVD's, and of course, fine foods (which include chocolates, teas, coffees, gluten-free cookies, sushi, gluten-free pasta, marmalades, and jellies). Today's scheduled topic: Me being the comic mastermind behind my comic intellect; it all started with some random jokes, but I also made the "DL" monogram famous by immortalizing it. Then during breaktime, I've went to Speedway and discussed myself being more important than Jesus (and more important than Yahveh Elohim (in layman's terms, God Almighty) and eventually, I've got into Speedway and purchased a Matador-brand beefstick and a 40-fl.-oz. Diet Pepsi (from the soda dispenser). I've devoured my beefstick and demolished my Diet Pepsi by sucking it all down into my throat, and then, I was waiting for my ice which was left over from drinking that 40-fl.-oz. Diet Pepsi before lunch. As lunch came at 12:00 p.m., I've devoured my hamburger on a hot-dog bun, consumed my mozzarella stick, devoured my fruit jello, and consumed my vanilla pudding. As the time came, I've asked for water while there was a 2-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi (w/ 40 fluid ounces of it left over from yesterday's pizza party birthday for Ali Watters), but then eventually, Jennifer Hord (my life-skills assistant) poured the remaining Diet Pepsi into my 40-fl.-oz. cup--who knew?! Then, I was twerking up a storm while Jennifer was recording me and I was hyperactive and having too much fun, but I can never have too much fun, though! As I got home from my excursion, I've said "Good afternoon!" to Sandra Moore (one of my neurotypical friends). Then, I hung my coat up. In conclusion, everything went excellent! This evening, I'll be going to McDonald's with Luke Trieber, Chad Gadfield, Michael Turner, Ron Enright, and Sandra Moore, and I'm getting a Big Mac (w/ no bun), large fries, and a large sweet tea (so make no mistake about it). I was wondering about something: Do people think I'm sexy enough to be the sexiest man alive for future generations? Well, anyway, in conclusion, I'd like to say "I'll see ya next time, ladies and gentlemen!" and the meeting has been adjourned.😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃