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If I have my way as President of the United States

 If I have my way as the President of the United States, there will be no more hate crimes against Jews, Muslims, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, trangendered people, queers, intersex people, asexual people, blacks, whites, Asian-Pacific Islanders, Latinos, autistics, the mentally retarded, women, etc. I'll vow to impose a 15% corporate tax rate in this great nation of ours (the United States of America), a 15% income tax (for all citizens of this country), a 7% national value-added tax (for all American states (except Delaware), and a 0% inheritance tax (on all citizens) as well as a 0% gift tax and a 0% wealth tax; all proceeds will go directly to causes including better and more affordable healthcare, better and more affordable education, better and more affordable retirement benefits, better and more affordable telecommunications (including television, Internet, radio, telephone, and motion pictures), and picket signs against homophobic propaganda as well as annexing Canada with its...
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When I get the chance to be President of the United States!

 Here's my speech: Within the first 100 days when I'm President of the United States, I'll annex Canada (British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, Nunavut, Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island plus the Yukon Territory and the Northwest Territories) to the American mainland and Alaska. The reason that I'm doing this is because that Canada alone epitomizes the paramountcy of the New American Republic which will be indivisible as one nation to the people, by the people, and for the people, it shall still never perish from this Earth! In addition, I'll also declare war on Mexico's gang violence, drug cartels, and illegal immigration practices. It'll still have trading partners including Japan (for its robot sushi chefs, sex robots, video games, manga, and of course, anime) and France (for its cognac, champagne, croissants, baguettes, escargots, pot-au-feu, vichyssoise, and bouillebaise) as well as Great Britain (for its t...
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I was thinking about being a male supermodel!

 I'd like to be a male supermodel--the best one over 35 years of age!😎😎😎😎😎
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If I were rich enough...(continued)

 If I were rich enough, I could have as many mail-order brides as I want (including Canadian ones, Mexican ones, Brazilian ones, British ones, French ones, German ones, Irish ones, Italian ones, Russian ones, Middle-Eastern ones, Japanese ones, etc.). I could have a whole harem of beautiful women who are just as intelligent as they are beautiful.😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
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If I were rich enough...

 If I were rich enough, I could have a cryogenic chamber to sleep in, a cloning machine which can make an exact duplicate of me in every way, a Swiss bank account, and much, much more! That includes a private jet, a private luxury yacht, a home theater system, shares of stock at McDonald's (as well as Coca-Cola), and a Russian mail-order bride.😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
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A clone of my own!

I've got this crazy inkling that if I'm rich enough, I could have a clone of my own who's exactly like me in every way (a self-confessed foot-fetishist, a self-confessed chocoholic, a self-confessed shopaholic, a self-confessed pathological liar, a self-confessed caffeine consumer, a self-confessed Internet nerd, a self-confessed egomaniac, and much more). Also, I might get a cryogenic chamber so that I could freeze myself and be suspended in time.😎😎😎😎😎
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Here's a fun fact about me!

 Here's a fun fact about me: I do talk to myself a lot, but I also pace back and forth in the kitchen, and I do have a huge appetite when I'm feeling clinically depressed. Wait, that's three fun facts about me! Also, one more fun fact is that I love caffeine!😎😎😎😎😎😎
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