Daniel Luster: Bigger Than Jesus

 Greetings, mortals! I'm Daniel Luster: Judge, jury, executioner, and world-renowned king of all media (including television, radio, the Internet, supermarket tabloids, magazines, newspapers, motion pictures, books, theater, billboards, and of course, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution) and welcome to my Cyber-Realm. I decided to be bigger than Jesus Christ, himself by being more popular than him in every way via my autobiographical manifesto (which will display my perspective worldview, but also based on my life from a 1980's child to a 21st-century man who'll move to his brand-spanking-new bachelor pad at 27 Winding Way (right next to the Baku Grotto Hall which is right here in Mansfield, Ohio, U.S.A.). My birthday (November 21st) will become more important than Christmas, but not just in the United States, but also abroad, as well (which will go for other territories including Canada, Latin America, the Caribbean, the United Kingdom, Continental Europe, Russia, the Middle East, Northern Africa, the Indian subcontinent, South Africa, Madagascar, Mainland China (including the province of Taiwan), Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, the East Indies (including Indonesia, Borneo, and the Philippines), Australia, New Zealand, the Fiji Islands, the Federated States of Micronesia, and Antarctica), but also, my autobiographical manifesto will be available in English (for the United States, Canada, Ireland, the United Kingdom, the Caribbean, the Fiji Islands, Nigeria, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and the Federated States of Micronesia as well as both American and British-occupied territories in Antarctica), European French (for France, Belgium, Switzerland, Andorra, Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco, and the Reunion Islands), Canadian French (for French Canada (esp., in the Canadian province of Quebec), European Portuguese (for Portugal, Angola, and Mozambique), Brazilian Portuguese (for Brazil), Neutral Spanish (for the United States' Spanish-speaking diaspora and Latin America), European Spanish (for Spain and Andorra), Italian (for Italy), Dutch (for the Netherlands), Greek (for Greece), Bulgarian (for Bulgaria), Russian (for Russia and the Russian-occupied territory in Antarctica), Turkish (for Turkey), Hebrew (for Israel), Modern Standard Arabic (for the entirety of the Middle East and Northern Africa (excluding Turkey, Israel, and Iran), Iranian Persian (for Iran), Afghanistani Persian (also known as Dari) (for Afghanistan), Hindi (for the Indian subcontinent), Simplified Chinese (for the People's Republic of China (including the Chinese province of Taiwan), Japanese (for Japan), Urdu (for Pakistan (which is the part of the Indian subcontinent), Serbian (for Serbia and Kosovo), Croatian (for Croatia), Macedonian (for Macedonia), Bosnian (for Bosnia and Herzegovina), Albanian (for Albania and Kosovo), Kazakh (for Kazakhstan), Georgian (for the former Soviet republic of Georgia), Azerbaijani (for Azerbaijan), Kyrgyz (for Kyrgyzstan), Tadzhik (for Tadzhikistan), Kurdish (for Kurdistan), Basque (for Basque Country (which is right between Spain and France), Pashto (for Afghanistan), Czech (for the Czech Republic), Slovak (for Slovakia), Polish (for Poland), German (for Germany, Austria, and Switzerland), Hungarian (for Hungary), Norwegian (for Norway), Swedish (for Sweden), Finnish (for Finland), Icelandic (for Iceland), Danish (for Denmark), Estonian (for Estonia), Lithuanian (for Lithuania), Latvian (for Latvia), Yiddish (for the Jewish diaspora in the United States, the Ukraine, and Sweden), Zulu (for South Africa), and Tagalog (for the Philippines) as well as Uzbek (for Uzbekistan), Chechen (for Chechnya), and Crimean Tatar (for the Russian territory of Crimea), but don't forget to mention Turkmen (for Turkmenistan), Belarusian (for Belarus), and Armenian (for Armenia), too. My autobiographical manifesto will be more important than the Holy Bible will ever be. There'll be 10 billion-plus people around the world who'll read my autobiographical manifesto (which reflects my perspective worldview) more often than the Holy Bible, the Quran, the Torah, and every other sacred scripture known to humankind. I, for one will be more important than Jesus Christ will ever be. Moreover, my birthday (November 21st) will be more popular than Christmas (December 25th) will ever be. Furthermore, my autobiographical manifesto will remotely be more popular than the Bible (for the Christians), the Quran (for all the Muslims), and the Torah (for all the Jews) combined, esp., as the world's #1 best-selling book!😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎 I'll even have a megachurch named after me; I'll call that "the Megachurch of Daniel Luster" in Columbus, Ohio, U.S.A. Everyone worldwide will follow in my footsteps as "the Most Influential Man on Planet Earth" , "the Diet Pepsi Guy", and "the Founder of My Own Megachurch". Until then, this is Daniel Luster signing off, over and out! Bye-bye!😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎